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The Game Theory of Pick Up!

To people who aren't pick up artist pick up/seduction what we do is pretty simple. They often say they "know about that Mystery fellow" or read "The Game." Sometimes they will distill pick up down to "insulting women" or running lines. Some of the most studious outsider will quote some community doctrine such as "She's not the prize your the prize" or "Neg the target." Of course anyone that has been in the community for a while and is good will tell you that pick up/seduction is a little more complex than that. Pick Up/Seduction is pretty much a very intellectual field.  As a pick up artist you will probably study some evolutionary psychology, evolutionary biology, basic psychology, hypnosis/NLP, human sexuality, tantra, social dynamics, group psychology, sales and a whole slew of other disciplines.  Pick Up/Seduction is pretty much a very intellectual pursuit. I guess now we can add another discipline to add to the old tool belt: mathematics. In this case Game Theory.

Here a little video by G.Dirk Mateer who is a Senior Lecturer and Director of Undergraduate Studies in Economics at Penn State University. In the video "Using Game Theory to Explain Why People Are Superficial" he inadvertently sets the foundation to some of Mystery Method's theory particularly the phenomena of "Pre-Selection/Social Proof." Anyway it is an interesting presentation.

Pick Up Artist Resources



  1. Alpha Male/Domination

·         Books

·         “The 33 Strategies of War” by Robert Greene

·         “The 48 Laws of Power” by Robert Greene

·         “The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene

·         “The King Within” by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette

·         “Caesar's Way” by Caesar Millan and Melissa Jo Peltier

·         “Art of War” by Sun Tzu

·         “A Book of Nine Rings (Spheres)” by Miyamoto Musashi

·         “The Forked Tongue” by Flagg

·         Thus Spoke Zarathustra” by Friedrich Nietzsche

  1. Inner Game

·         Books

·         “Confidence” by Rosabeth Moss Kanter

·         “A Little Book on the Human Shadow” by Robert Bly

·         “The Hero with A thousand Faces” by Joseph Campbell

  1. Social Dynamics

·         Books

o    “The Art of Mingling” by Jeanne Martinet

  1. Sex
  • General Starting Point
    • Books
      • “A Piece of Cake: Recipe for Female Sexual Pleasure” by Melinda Callagher and Emily Scarlet Kramer
      • “Joy of Sex” by Alex Comfort
      • “More Joy of Sex” by Alex Comfort
      • “Loving Sex: How to Develop and Keep a Loving Relationship” by Nitya Lacroix
      • “Nina Hartley's Guide to Total Sex” by Nina Hartley and I.S. Levine
      • “The Sex Book” by Suzi Godson
  • Basics you should know
    • Anal
      • Books
        • “The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women” by Tristan Taormino
        • “The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men” by Bill Brent
        • “Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men and Women” by Jack Morin
    • G-Spot
      • Books
    • Cunnilingus
      • Books
        • “The Lowdown on Going Down: How to giver her mind-blowing oral sex” by Marcy Michaels
        • “Oral Caress: The Loving Guide to Exciting a Woman” by Robert W. Birch
    • Aural Sex
      • Books
        • “The Fine Art of Erotic Talk: How to entice, excite and enchant your Lover with words” by Bonnie Gabriel



    • Toys
      • Books
        • “Sex Toys 101: A Playfully Uninhibited Guide” by Rachel Venning and Claire Cavanah
        • “”
    • Massage/Touch
      • Books
        • “Exotic Massage for Lovers” by Timothy Freke
        • “Accupressure for Lovers: Secrets of Touch for Increasing Intimacy” by Michael Reed Gach
        • “Sexual Reflexology: Activating the Taoist Points of Love” by Mantak Chia and William U. Pei
        • “Massage for Lovers: Simple, Sensuous Techniques for Enhancing Sexual Pleasure” by Nitya Lacroix
        • “Touching for Pleasure: A 12 Step Program for Sexual Enhancement” by Adele P. Kennedy and Susan Dean
        • “Touch me there! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots” by Yvonne K. Fulbright
      • Videos
  • Tantra/Taoist
    • Books
      • “Urban Tantra:Sacred Sex for the twenty-first century” by Barbara Carrellas
      • “The Multi-Orgasmic man:Sex secrets every man should know” by Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams Arava
      • “Anne Hooper's Kama Sutra: Classic Lovemaking Techniques Reinterpreted for Today's Lovers” by Anne Hooper
      • “The Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive Orgasm” by Steve Bodansky and Vera Bodansky
      • “Sexual Secrets: The Alchemy of Ecstasy” by Nik Douglas and Penny Slinger
      • “The Tao of Love and Sex” by Tolan Chang
      • “The Illustrated Purfumed Garden” adapted by Jan Hutchinson, Kirsty Mchenzie and Ken Brass
      • “Jewel in the Lotus: The Tantric Path to Higher Consciousness” by Sunyata Saraswati and Bodhi Avinasha
      • “The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana” translated by Sir Richard Burton and F.F. Arbuthnot
      • “Radical Ecstasy” by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
      • “Sexual Energy Ecstasy: A Practical Guide to Lovemaking Secrets of the East and West” by David and Ellen Ramsdale
      • “The Tao of Sex” by Howard S. Levy and Akira Ishihara
  • BDSM
    • Books
      • “Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission” by Gloria G.. Brame, William D. Brame and Jon Jacobs
      • “Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism” by Phili Miller and Molly Devon
      • “The Loving Dominant” by by John Warren and Libby Warren
      • “SM 101: A Realistic Introduction” by Jay Wiseman
      • “Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink” by Midori
  1. Gender Issues that effect you!
  • Books
  • “Stiffed:The Betrayal of the American Man” by Susan Faludi
  • “The Myth of Male Power” by Warren Farrell
  1. Relationships
  • Books
  • “Mating in Captivity” by Esther Perel
  • “Art of Love” by Ovid
  • “Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships” by Tristan Taormino
  • “The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities” by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt
  • “The Pimp Game...:Instructional Guide” by Mickey Royal
  • “The Threesome Handbook: A practical guide to sleeping with three” by Vicki Vantoch
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to be continued....

Thoughts on Attraction and Identity.


Every Friday and Saturday I stand outside of the club for the early party.  I work as a security guard, a bouncer.  The duties of my job are to great the guest, check their ids, make sure that they wait orderly on line and enter the club in an orderly manner.  If there are any problems inside the club I and/or one of my colleagues will enter the venue and restore order.  This is your normal bouncing gig.

This party is male revue for women   Most of the customers at the door are women.  Most these women are here to celebrate bachelorette parties: their friends last night of freedom.  Some of the women arrive in rented limousines or party buses.   I can safely say that many of the women say that many of the women arrive a little drunk and a little horny. 

Every time I work this party the women always tend to flirt with me.  If I had ten dollars for each time a women said to me “So when are you going on stage” or “Why don’t you strip” I would be a wealthy man.  They are attracted to me.  Yet they know nothing about me.  They don’t know my favorite authors, the movies that I like or what my values are.  Instead I am the bouncer, the black man, the strong man, the dominant, the masculine man, the athlete, knotty dreadlocks, the handsome man.  In their view I am these identities.  The women are attracted to me because of these identities.

    Attraction and Identity are heavily tied together.  Attraction is based on identities, stereotypes and attraction maps that are owned by society and  the collective.     One could try to create a new attractive identity but it is very difficult to overcome social inertia.  One successful example is "black is beautiful" campaign by many African-American activists of the 1960's and 1970's in the United States.  Most new attraction identities are usually amalgams of other previous stereotypes.  For example the "Geek girl" is the sum of the "" stereotype combined with the "hot chick" stereotype.  Furthermore the more primal the attraction identity the more powerful and persuasive the identity is.  Thus masculinity and femininity are are probably the most powerful of the attraction stereotypes.  Androgyny becomes a very powerful stereotypes since it is based on the masculine and feminine identities. 

    Attraction identities aren't owned by the individual that uses the identity but rather by the society and the collective.  Attraction identities are social constructs and are therefore governed by society.  For example society might believe that "Black is beautiful" but the same society gets to decide what is considered "black" and what is considered "beautiful".  Thus if you looked at the different "black bombshells" you would probably see a shift between the 1960's and today in what is considered "Black" and "beautiful."

    Thus individuals who use these identities don't have any power over who they attract.  So the woman who assumes the "Asian hot babe" identity who wants the attract dominant, masculine, athletic, Asian male artist may also attract androgynous, switch male Latino entrepreneurs and butch White female techies.  She would have no power over discriminating against or for who she is attracting.  To quote Mystery, "Attraction is not a choice."  Individuals do have power over who they pursue or reject.  Thus with our example the "Asian hot babe" can politely decline the advances of the entrepreneurs and the techies while accepting invitations by the artists.

    What are the implications for the prospective pick up artist (pua)?  This means that one of the easiest ways for a pick up artist to create attraction will be to assume one or more attractive identities.  Secondly you will not be able to filter out groups of individuals that you are not attracted to:  I and other heterosexual pua’s will get approached by gay or bisexual men.  We have no power over who we attract but we do have the power to reject (for the most part politely) those we aren’t attracted to.  Thirdly, a pua who finds that they are getting more attention from people they aren’t trying to attract, it is a good sign:  if you are attracted to them there is a good chance that you will be attractive to your intended audience.



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February 2009